Trust comes from letting people see you while you’re figuring it out.
Last week I went to my first-ever work conference: HubSpot UNBOUND.
It was also my first time visiting Boston as a girl who was born and raised in North Carolina. There is nothing that spells imposter syndrome more than that.
More than 13,000 people in a room who have been living and breathing marketing for over a decade and get a dopamine hit from entering a packed show floor, versus me: a recently-turned-23-year-old who has been doing this whole marketing thing for about a year and a half now. (And the first six months don’t count - I was quite literally learning to walk.)
During the last month of my senior year of college, I wrote a blog about the PR and comms characters who raised me: Jenna Rink, Olivia Pope, Andie Anderson, and Carrie Bradshaw. It’s easy to think that those same fictional women would have loved the busyness and hustle-bustle of UNBOUND off the bat.
But the more I think of it, the more I realize that the way they showed up externally was not always how they felt inside.
And we can, and should, feel both things. A lot of the time, at once.
I was excited and eager to attend sessions and hear from people who know much more about CRM data than I do. AND I was intimidated, sweaty, and extremely hesitant to stay behind and speak to them after their thoughtful sessions.
Both were true. And I don’t think it’s far-fetched to say those fictional characters felt that way too, because confidence truly looks different than it feels.
There were many (many many many) moments after sessions ended that I stood around before forcing myself to get in line to “speak to the speaker.” I probably looked much weirder standing to the side staring at the line than I would have just getting in it and then leaving. Nonetheless, I stood and watched.
I constantly found myself thinking about how young I am and how little experience I have. Why would I take up their time speaking about my thoughts on their session without something to give them?
There is something about being one of the youngest people in the room that makes you feel automatically small. But there is a reason you are the youngest person in the room.
Especially in marketing.
Sometimes I feel like my lack of experience (both in work and in life) makes my ideas feel less data-backed. It’s hard to pretend like I know the answers, and I think the point is to be honest about it.
I don’t know the answers, but I am part of the generation the industry is trying to understand. There is a great perspective that can only come from where I am now. And maybe what I have to say isn’t the route we’ll take at work or the idea that will spark millions in sales, but there is still value in saying it.
Maha Abouelenein held a session titled “Building Trust Through Storytelling in a Skeptical World,” and it was my favorite of the week.
She talked a lot about trust and reputation, and how those pieces can be the glue that holds everything together. It felt especially fitting with AI on the rise and maybe coming to wipe us all out. The whole establishing trust thing, in and outside of work, is no easy feat.
But she reminded me that there are so many people out there (and algorithms) that still value the human quirks.
You often hear about major successes from execs or founders, and they detail the lessons learned and mistakes made to get to the top. But when it’s your time to learn those lessons or make the mistakes, sometimes the act of making them doesn’t seem as appreciated as it did when it was done by someone else.
Maybe that’s just me or comes from being new to the game.
The point is you don’t have to be done making the mistakes to start telling the story.
Maha’s session reminded me that the lessons learned contribute to who we are deep down. It is extremely difficult to extend grace to ourselves, especially in a workplace setting where we want to show up polished and perfect all the time. But I really believe sharing stories about our mistakes while you’re experiencing them can be what establishes the most long-lasting and authentic kind of trust.
I left UNBOUND still feeling very much 23 years old. Still new to the workforce. Still going to stand awkwardly to the side of the speaker lines for 20 seconds before deciding I should probably get in it.
But as long as I keep getting in the lines, I think it’s okay.
We don’t have to be perfectly polished and AI-revised before we extend ourselves to something or someone else. Sharing the perspective I have right now will have to be good enough.
Trust comes from letting people see you while you’re figuring it out.
What a scary sentence.
